| man |
[30 Dec 2003|07:44pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blah |
] |
damn i dont seem to update a lot.
only when the twins have problems.
they seem to be having a big one right now.
everyone seems to be having problems right now.
linzi and i are "taking a break"
she decided it.
she couldn't go to japan.
so she got upset at me.
which makes it my fault.
of course it's my fault.
everything seems to be that way with her.
whatever.
anyways.
i stopped over by benj and joels.
to see how they were.
plus i had to get some papers from them.
joel wasn't there.
i didnt know why at first.
wasn't tell i came home and read everything.
benji looks like shit.
pale, dark circles, hair all over the place...
i just saw him at christmas.
he didn't look that thin.
i dont think he's eaten these past 3 days.
i didnt know what to do.
not sure what to say.
he hurt joel.
but i know he didn't mean it.
id be in the position as joel...
if someone i loved did that to me.
but on the other hand...
everyone knows how much benji loves joel.
we all watched benji break down this tour...
because of the events that happened with joel.
we watched benji stay up nights on end to watch over joel.
im sure all of us listened to benj go on and on about how much he loves joel...
all you had to ask was...
"how are you and joel?"
he'd just start and never stop.
im pretty sure he'd tell you every reason he loves joel.
i really hope they can work things out.
the rest of the world would only be so lucky to get something like what they have.
im always around for them to talk to.
but none of it really my place.
so i suppose im going to shut up about it.
my phone is ringing.
im sure it's linzi.
she probably thinks im off doing something with someone else...
she ended it with me!
akjrhilgu wrhjnljkh < frustration!
later.
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| the after taste is gunna break my heart |
[15 Dec 2003|07:56pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 aggravated |
] |
i tried to keep to myself before this.
after the other night its just to hard to.
i tried to let benji and joel take care of things themselves.
didnt want to step in.
when i was a first had witness to what happened...
that man is a sick fucking pervert.
i hope that benj and joel slap him with every charge they can.
i know it would be hard to talk about.
hard to bring back up to press charges.
im not one to tell them what to do...
i just hope they both come forward and do it.
they need the justice for themselves...
so they can both sleep peacefully at night.
so they no longer have to worry.
its been so long since i last wrote.
i hate that its for this reason i am.
neither of them deserve this.
hopefully everything will work out.
i know i probably dont have to say this again but..
benj and joel if you guys need anyone im always around.
anyways...
there isnt a happier subject to write about.
ill try though...
obviously we're over seas at the moment.
everything seemed to be going really good.
shows have been great.
crowds amazing.
linz didn't come with this time.
figured we needed this little bit of time away from each other.
she had to work.
i understand.
it's nice to have a couple days with my own thoughts.
we'll be home for christmas and new years.
then over to japan.
i love japan.
video game capital of the world!
love checking out the new games before they get over to the states.
well i suppose i shall stop my rambling and get some sleep.
once again i just want benji and joel to know how sorry i am that im around.
of course i could just walk to their room and tell them...
i think i will..
bye for now.
ill try harder to write more often.
|
|
| lies |
[24 Oct 2003|07:29pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Staind |
] |
wow.
i almost forgot i had one of these.
i dont get online much.
never have anything interesting to write about.
i dont think anyone read this.
oh well.
may as well pour my heart out.
we're all tired.
the tour is still kicking ass.
we've postponed some over seas dates.
we intend to get out there and play them soon.
its a couple personal reasons.
the band doesnt feel like sharing.
so sorry to the kids who were looking forward to it.
soon though... we promise.
dont throw those tickets away just yet.
linz and i are doing good.
i talked to her last night.
nice phone conversation.
guess she got promoted at work.
im so proud of her.
she was talking about getting a journal.
everyone needs to vent now and then.
im sure she'll write about our fights.
she'll be writing a lot then.
they're never serious.
most over crap.
usually their over not seeing each other.
if i could help that i would.
but i cant.
she sometimes just doesnt understand that.
i wish she could.
ok.
well anyways..
i know she'll see this.
not trying to complain.
she's a great girl.
we have a shit loud of history together.
i love her.
ok well i think im gunna go.
ive vented enough for now.
ill try and write more often.
out now.
later.
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|
[12 Oct 2003|03:00pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sleepy |
] |
thats some heavy shit going on with benj and joel.
my problems seem petty.
compared to theirs.
i dont even know the right things to say to them.
i just hope that things get better soon.
joel really has been different.
that kinda shit shouldnt happen to them.
ok...
its not really my business.
the tour is going well.
the crowds are HUGE.
im loving every minute of it.
the kids are so great.
linzi and i are doing good.
i havent seen her in a while.
we're gunna see each other next week.
hopefully that will go good.
my pimp is...
well pimpin...
haha.
everything seems to be ok..
well...
you know what i mean.
the boys of mest are still with us.
crazy fuckers.
they've been up to some naughty shit.
what's new though.
haha.
ok well im gunna go nap.
ill check ya later.
bye.
|
|
| man.. |
[25 Sep 2003|10:19pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 confused |
] |
craaaaazy stuff is going on.
im sort of out the loop.
what's new.
haha.
benj and joel are having problems.
matt and tony are too.
i feel bad.
i dont know how to confront them.
i want them to know they can talk to me.
if they want to.
benji's been really down lately.
i dont know what to do.
ive read what's been going on.
that still doesnt make it my business.
benji mopes around.
joel's trying so hard.
i know he didnt mean it.
i know how much he loves benj.
but i also know how much benj loves him.
something like that had to kill benji.
it did.
i believe he's dying inside.
the look on his face when joel walks in a room...
his eyes still light up...
but quickly fade.
i can see he's dying to hold joel again.
he's just not letting himself.
its sad really.
i saw how happy he was before this shit.
i can see both sides.
im torn.
i just want them to be happy.
i want everyone to be happy.
i know paul is happy.
paul is jolly.
i dont know.
everything is so confusing.
its hard to be in the same room with tony and matt.
the tension is thick.
so is the awkwardness.
man...
what has happened to us?
gkdfgaklglkhdjfegthktfb
^my frustration.
im out.
my head hurts.
haha.
peace out my hommies...
i cant pull that off can i?
how come paul can?
he's just a pimp.
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|
[23 Sep 2003|01:26pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 anxious |
] |
the tour kicks ass.
im tired.
paul is pimpin this tour.
paul is good at dodge ball.
that rhymed.
its why i said it.
ive been playin games like mad.
just wanna thank everyone for coming to see us.
later.
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| i take my time. |
[17 Sep 2003|04:05pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 amused |
] |
woo.
im glad that i dont live with joel.
poor kid would hate me.
i just started packing.
5:05pm.
he wouldnt need to worry more than he already does.
tour starts tomorrow.
i cant wait!
well i better stop procrastinating.
im out.
gotta spend time with linz tonight.
no video games tonight.
Later.
|
|
| oh yeah! |
[11 Sep 2003|01:02pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 accomplished |
] |
muhahahhaa.
who's the fuckin game masta...
me.
you better believe that foo.
i knew staying up all night would pay off.
thats some crazy shit.
wooo.
ok.
sorry no one knows what im talking about.
paul does.
fuckin beat the game.
tetris baby.
haha.
jk.
ok wow i need sleep.
im going crazy.
later.
|
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| ...is it a secret... |
[10 Sep 2003|01:28am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
blank |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
theSTART |
] |
listening to theSTART.
godddamn thats a good band!
amiee is fucking hot.
gave paul a journal code.
he's a pimp.
everyone make sure you add him.
paul's the man.
if he's not your friend, you're not mine.
haha.
just makin sure paul gets some love.
who wouldnt wanna love paul?
he's a sexi boy that paul is.
i was raised vegetarian.
i get a call from gramps who knows this.
"bill we're havin a BBQ come on over".
uh... *looks around*
Gramps... how long have you known me dude?
it was a nice gesture though.
i went anyways to see the family.
of course i was the family topic.
"what are all those tattoos for?"
"Oh william why do you want to put holes in your face?"
same ol same ol.
i love em though.
well im out!
|
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| just say no and dont forget your spine |
[08 Sep 2003|12:50am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sleepy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Silverchair |
] |
i have problems.
i stayed up the past 2 nights playing playstation 2.
Linz got mad at me.
she left with her friends tonight.
i hardly get time off.
she expects i be with her.
every waking moment of my time off.
surprised she lets me sleep.
ive been listening to a lot of good stuff.
im excited to get on tour.
im more excited to work on the new album.
decided to show the guys some of the stuff.
hope they like it.
damn i need some sleep.
im out.
|
|
| .:should have guessed:. |
[27 Aug 2003|07:37pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 determined |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
theSTART |
] |
some people are just evil...
i wont mention names...
like tony lovato...
what is your problem?
were you jealous that they were happy?
that they had something you'll never get?
you couldn't just leave it be could you?
honestly... do you feel bad?
its not my place to get them back together
but that doesnt mean i wont try.
i had never seen either of them happier...
then when they were together.
dont let it go you guys...
dont let it go.
|
|
| .:long day:. |
[23 Aug 2003|05:14pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
blank |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Cold |
] |
man oh man what a week.
things with the Linz are getting better.
had a long talk with friends yesterday.
learned some new things.
my friends are great.
im opened minded.
easy going.
sometimes... to much.
i cant believe how much ive been writing lately.
the guys wanna read some of the stuff.
not sure if im ready to show ppl.
the things i write ive never really shown.
my eyes only usually.
im way to critcal.
i suppose everyone is.
of themselves.
i have the need to paint.
|
|
| .:venting:. |
[19 Aug 2003|02:39pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
artistic |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
silverchair |
] |
lately im amazing myself.
been drawing like mad.
writing as well.
a lot of emotions.
writing releases alot.
i might bring it to the guys.
might keep it personal.
i found something interesting today.
still not sure how to take it.
found a close friends journal.
alot was written in it.
more than he probably wanted me to see.
dont know how to confront him.
dont know if i should.
tour is coming up soon.
god i love the feeling.
the stage, the lights, the music...
takes me over.
this is what its all about.
this is a better fucking high than any drugs could give you.
im addicted.
girlfriend troubles lately.
blah.
nothing serious.
just disagreeing.
im busy i cant help that.
she knows it.
she wants to spend more time together.
its hard.
clothing line, band, trying to maintain a life of my own.
i love her like crazy.
sometimes i just need some alone time.
eh... it will get better.
i need some fucking rest thats what i need.
its funny, when sleep hits, i become artistic.
its not fair.
i want sleep.
then come up with amazing drawings.
well im out for now.
its nice to vent.
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